11.17.2005

...sterces

two days in a row. and the world stands still. what could possibly be happening? twice in 24 hours; it seems a bit excessive.
.
it seemed so easy, yet lending sound to these thoughts would obviously be anything but simple. torments, little uncertainties, questions facilitated by this lack of closure. to speak would erase this restlessness and return me again to some better mindless sleep. or will it? will the closure i need be the closure i feared?
.
finally, these apprehensions have found a voice, i hold them in no more. but with these words comes only the worst. no peace, no rest; just the end i hoped would not be. bated words flow at last; confirming my fears and bringing with them a host of regrets. the mystery was better. silence was golden.

|

11.16.2005

alas

so i owe you all a post. actually i don't owe anyone a damn thing. but somehow i feel guilty for the haunting silence that has overrun this place. being that i have been busy and generally lacking creativity, i have been absent of late. and in this absence i may have chased away all of you readers; the ones i hated, and sadly the ones i liked.
.
but alas!!! what a word. it sounds so good in my head and even in writing. alas! alas! alas! but who says alas? it is my contention that anyone who uses "alas" in every day conversation is a boring person and is thus trying, in speech, to compensate for their otherwise drab personality. i hate those people.
.
alas!!! i have found a new audience...emptiness. my words echo and fall pointlessly to the floor. so here i am, in the same place as always. a sudden desire to write and nothing to say. i find this indicative of a greater problem in life.
.
i think ambiguity is perfect; i like when something leaves you with more questions than answers. questions of meaning, depth, and reality. beautiful sentence fragments that need no revisions. rainy nights filled with irony. sometimes, though said with eloquence, the poetry does not erase the underlying hollowness.
.
i am drowning in red.

|