i came here to find meaning and realized that meaning is nothing more than a lofty concept. yet somehow i delude myself into believing that maybe once, if only for a moment, meaning will come. i blindly pursue depth, thinking there is such a thing. perhaps in these words lies an epiphany; perhaps in my ramblings i will find myself. yet in this futile search i am lost. somehow, i no longer recognize what i am searching for. i have become my blindness, masking myself in some unfamiliar ambiguity. what lies in the mirror matserfully disguises what lies beneath its counterpart. chaos, a disillusioned soul, an empty quest. then all at once it falls around me and the silence grows. yet silence is not peace and this place is not real. i cannot hold this new self together any easier than i can find some old more familiar self.



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