the following is the latest in a string of e-mails i have sent to dell. i am abandoning my usual use of all lower case letters for this post. enjoy.

To whom it may concern,
I hate to be a nag over here but here goes. I just had my laptop fixed by one of your fine technicians this morning, which I greatly appreciate. However, my speakers still sound like helpless drowning victims, a.k.a distorted. The gentleman who fixed them says he does not know what is wrong with them since I now have a new motherboard and speakers. Any thoughts? And now on to more pressing issues. Please join me in this short but pertinent digression. I have a brand new problem. After your technician put my laptop back together, the space bar stopped working. In other words, if I press it, it does not make a space. I know this may seem trivial but by no means is this some menial problem. I use my laptop everyday for my job and now it is handicapped with no consolation. Given its impairment, I feel it deserves a free parking spot but no one has obliged the plight of this ill fated laptop. So you see, the speakers, luxury, I hope one day they will sound better, but it is inconsequential at this point. If they drown, they drown. However the space bar, my God, this issue requires the attention of the world. For without it I am doomed, reduced to a bumbling idiot, trying in vain to communicate with the world through the shoddiest of syntax. Please, lend a hand, heed my cry, and rectify this most tragic impediment lest I be banished to grammar hell for my blatant disregard of spacing. Fortunately for you I am using a colleague's computer to draft this message. But, in case you think this problem deserves little attention, please read this same e-mail as it would look had I sent it from my Dell Inspiron 600m.
editor's note: i also sent them a copy of this with no spaces but when i tried to publish it here it was one long line and looked terrible on blogger. sorry!!!



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